Bending me down is this unbearable weight of life. I am so very pathetically done with people. This life is very much poetically hellish.
The sun is very offensively bright today. It is most deeply irritating to hear the birds singing as if the world isn’t so very clearly falling apart at the seams. I am terribly heavily weighted by the thought of another good morning and another perfectly brewed cup of coffee. The day is actually a most vastly boring trap, and I am so very, so very much drowned in the purely exhausting effort of waking up.
I am disgustingly tired of the masquerade that these people call a life. It is truly most incredibly exhausting to watch them move. Their voices are so very shrilly thin, like paper scraping against a most deeply rusted soul. I find myself very intensely disgusted by the way they breathe, each inhale a clearly stolen moment of air they don’t deserve.
The world is very much broken. It is a most vastly sprawling graveyard of “how are yous” and very hollowly ringing “I’m fines.” I am so very, very done with the beautiful lies.
I want to sit in the most purely stagnant rot of my own silence. I am so very fundamentally done with the most incredibly tedious chore of being a person among people. It is so very, so very much.
I am so pathetically done… With some people, places, and perspectives. I am so disgustingly tired… of this life. Too much pain, it is, to exist in this people-y world. Too much trauma it is, to survive every encounter with the self.
Down bends my shoulders the unbearable weight of life, choke my throat the screams stuck in my chest. It is just…so very, so very much for my heart.
Sadia Hakim / 20 Oct, 2024